(the following are a list of random thoughts I had pre race and during the race at Half Moon Bay Olympic triathlon on Sunday, April 23, 2017. I thought it would be more entertaining than the usual race report because, lets face it, every triathlete is a comedian when left alone with nothing but their thoughts during a race and Im more entertaining than most since Im usually out on the course longer than most)
6am: That coffee was amazing. What a great idea to have a coffee company sponsor your events. The donuts sitting there look tempting but I know better.
6:01am: Why is it so damn cold here? This would be a great race venue in July.
6:05am: I better go down to the water with Courtney
6:06am: Its still dark and I cant see spit. Maybe I should have made this trek yesterday.
6:40am: Oh heck. I better get moving. The crowd is headed to the beach. I hate feeling rushed.
6:45am: Race delayed? Um. Because Im not nervous enough already? Ill use this. Time to acclimate to the water.
6:46am: Thats enough acclimating. Oh look a dog! He doesnt seem to be too friendly. Make small talk with owner and move along.
6:47am: Oh look! Its Joe! Hes early to the water for the sprint. Good for him. His wife is too nice.
6:50am: Oh look! Its Scott and Gabbie. They are getting in the water. Lets be honest. I should try again. Its not as bad as I thought it would be but I need to get out of this as fast I can.
7:03am: There goes the first wave! Oh hell. I have to get back in the water. I hate deep water starts.
7:06am: I hate being a slow swimmer. I dont want to get kicked in the face. Let me move over here.
7:09am: Time to roll! Oh my holy hell its cold. Why am I doing this again? Im not a swimmer. I should have done the sprint.
(Note: times from here are excluded because time, for me, stands still when im racing, especially when Im racing)
Is that man playing a ukelele? Is he trying to entertain us or himself? It might be the latter since he cant go anywhere at the moment.
Stop kicking me.
Why cant I get out of this group of people? Oh no. The next horn. That age group is going to be crawling all over me in no time.
Stop. Kicking. Me.
Gah. Its so cold.
Where is the freaking turn buoy? Way up there? Oh lord.
What are the signs of hyperthermia? Its not that cold. I learned all this in my diving classes. Why cant I remember? Isnt a loss of cognition an early sign? Dont look at your watch. You are arent even at the half way point. Nope. Not even close to half way.
Its making me a bit nervous that I dont see or hear any seals out here. Im not looking to die by shark today. Maybe the fast kids scared them all off.
Stop. Freaking. Kicking. Me.
Wait. Maybe this is a good thing that Im hanging with this crew. Drafting in the swim is a legit benefit…..and they are gone.
Finally. The turn buoy. At least the second turn buoy isnt far.
Finally facing the right direction. Lord. That sun. I cant see anything. Ill just follow the splashes in front of me.
I cant even see the arch on the beach. What if Im way off course?
Im. So. Cold.
Where is the nearest kayak? I could DNF right now and be warm in 20 minutes.
Nope. Dont be a punk.
Why does Roka have a prize for “first out of the water”? The fast kids dont need another wetsuit. If I had a wetsuit company Id reach out to the “last out of the water” and give them wetsuits. They need the help. Yeah. Thats a great idea.
Finally, I can see the beach arch. Why is everyone swimming way over that direction? Oh I have to go on the outside of that boat? Damn.
This might be the longest swim ever. Dont be so overdramatic. You have swam this distance dozens of times this winter in the pool and at the lake last season. This is nothing. Youre just cold. Shut up and keep going.
I think that Roka thing is a great idea. I need to remember that.
Oh no. Thats a group of sprinters Im swimming into. Im going to get kicked in the face again.
Stop. Kicking. Me.
Just a little bit more. Oh wait. The guy in front of me stood up. I can put my feet down. Nope. Im short and the ocean is slightly lower now. Ack.
Now I can stand. Thank the lord. Get out of the water. Take off the cap. Left button on the watch. 2109 yards. The f*#@!?!??!?! Thats a half iron distance. Youre training for that dumbass. Stop whining and get to transition.
My feet hurt. Warm water ahead. OUCH. That STUNG. That probably is hyperthermia. Yikes.
Get to transition. My bike is RIGHT THERE but I have to go all the way around. Note to self. Get better at picking transition spot.
HEY SCOTT! HEY GABBIE! Yeah that was me that smacked your ass LOL
Keep moving. Get the suit off. Helmet, shoes, glasses. Bike. Go.
So many sprinters leaving. I need to get faster at the swim.
This road is crazy narrow. Im going to get hit by another racer. Today is the day I die.
Geez. Im sorry that I have to share this road with you. Save it for the open road maybe?
Ok. On the 1. Finally. Still lots of riders. Get past these. Now this one. I guess the road isnt closed. These poor folks. Seems like traffic here is always a nightmare. I wonder what Jeremy is doing.
Oh look! Theres Gabbie! Hey sister!
Time to settle in.
Wait. People are turning. Sprinters. Even better. I get a bit more room. Its crazy beautiful here.
I need to not be so comfortable. This is a race, not a Sunday stroll.
Eat something. I love honey stinger. I dont taste the salt water anymore.
A hill. This must be the hill they were talking about. That wasnt so bad.
A left hand turn. Nope. This is the hill. Settle in. Pass that one.
Top of the hill. Who is that guy? He’s dancing. Eminem on the radio. Hes got to be in his sixties. Thats rad.
Headed back to town. How many miles is this course? Who cant I do math in my head? Exercise makes me stupid.
WHERE ARE THE REST OF MY CHEWS!!?!? I must have dropped them. Oh well. Im near the turn now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GO STRAIGHT? Thats demoralizing.
Holy headwinds Batman.
Left turn. Thats a good sign.
The road just got so smooth. 25mph!??! Im barely working. SO FUN!
Finally off the bike. Time to play horseshoe transition again. I need to get better at this for real.
Bike, helmet off. Shoes, visor, bib on. Can I just sit here for a minute? Nope.
6.2 miles. This should be interesting.
I need to work on my negativity. You paid perfectly good money to do this. Youre running by the ocean. You should be happy.
Is that….HEY COURTNEY!!!
I cant believe she is already done. I should have done the sprint.
I feel good though. This is great training.
First aid station. Water. Keep going.
I should have taken my gel there.
Its hot now. I cant seem to regulate my body temp.
SCOTTY BOY! Yeah I know today sucked but youre nearly done. Hold onto that.
Why am I running away from the ocean?
Finally! The turn around. USAP always gets the nicest volunteers. Probably why I keep coming back. 3 miles. Easy peasy now.
Holy moses. I see the harbor again. Nearly done.
Theres Courtney again!
They are doing awards. Lord. Im just too slow.
But Im out here doing it.
Shut up voice.