So here we are. Another year. Another chance to do good…to be a blessing to someone. Im all over the map these days with my emotions and my schedule…and my diet. Im tired. Constantly tired. Looking out over the calendar of my long term goals the past few weeks I just get more tired because I think about all that I want to accomplish and that I just dont have the energy for right now. Thursday night I drove over to the coast for a girl weekend with my mom and some friends and was listening to a new podcast call The Healthnut and the Hot mess. The first episode dealt with addiction…mainly to alcohol.

I dont drink much but when I do I always feel horrid afterward. I go months in between drinks and its sort of like I forget how alcohol makes me feel? Being a bariatric patient means I shouldnt be drinking anyway. Last night I had a glass of wine before dinner and I just got….moody.

Being a bariatric patient also means that Im not supposed to drink sodas. I know what it does to me interally but if I dont normally care. Lately though I can feel it every time I work out. Ive tried to quit them out right but havent ever been successful. I didnt realize how addicted I was until I realized how many times I had run out and had that sheer feeling of anxiety and panic until I could get to the store and restock. Thats addiction. Plain and simple. So Im going to finish what I have and then Ill be done. Sort of like my lenten sacrifice. I hope it sticks. Ill feel so much better if I can give it up. I know it.

2016 was all about ridding myself of relationships that didnt serve my well being. 2017 will be about ridding myself of bad habits. Today is day one of my sobriety. Soon Ill be at day one of no sodas. Im sort of terrified but that just means the struggle will be worth it right?


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