The year coming to a close always has me in serious reflection. This year is no different with all the up and down. The up? Getting serious about triathlon and making HUGE strides in my training and my endurance through help from coaches and teammates. The downside? My anxiety problem has reared it’s very ugly head in the process. I am dealing with it much better than in years past because of triathlon and reconnecting with my old doctor. It has also taught me a lot about myself and how I handle what life throws at me:
Anxiety has taught me that life is short.
Anxiety has taught me who I can count on, and who I can’t.
Anxiety has taught me that those who I cant count on are not purposefully trying to be hurtful towards me but that they don’t think of me much at all and that is perfectly ok.
Anxiety has taught me to appreciate the really good days.
Anxiety has taught me how to say no to situations that will cause more anxiety and yes to those that bring me peace or joy.
Anxiety has taught me that being skinny will not solve all my problems like I thought it would pre surgery but that being healthier would allow me to handle anxiety better.
I have learned, even with anxiety that is sometimes crippling, I have value and purpose that can only be quantified by the sum of a life’s work, by the sum of love and laughter around me and by the story I choose to tell.